she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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