I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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