Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
