toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
