nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My dick has a subreddit
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
