Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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