I just pynch a tree in the face
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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