Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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