Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
