ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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