I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
operation harelip BJ is a go
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize