Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
