Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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