he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
