And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize