You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
