It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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