Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
