What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
