There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
