so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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