you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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