Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
