I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
