i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
