So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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