In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
