definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
