Grow some girl-balls and come out already
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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