Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
