We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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