he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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