the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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