How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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