just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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