He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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