quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
