Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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