He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
We named our party play list daddy issues
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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