we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
