At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
