Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
