Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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