3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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