you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
