so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
