listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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