Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
When did angry sex become our thing?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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