I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
