Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Randomize
