The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I think your dad took our porno
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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