WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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