Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
