the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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