I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
