im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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