after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you win again, gameday.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize