She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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