remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
