How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
