I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
