I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
