i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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